deaddrop: (Default)
Natasha Romanoff ([personal profile] deaddrop) wrote2025-05-01 02:11 pm

Xim Inbox

// @romanoff
TEXT • AUDIO • VIDEO
XIMILIA
oiorpata: (16)

[personal profile] oiorpata 2023-04-16 04:49 pm (UTC)(link)
[ it made it easier for andy to accept their fate perhaps, easier for her to initially against deciding to help. it's likely she wouldn't even remember much about the hivawei in the grand scheme either. she is stateless. culture-less. it's happened over and over, and it ties into her fatigue over the repetition of hurting herself through endless life. ]

[ she snorts, the sound more bitter than amused. she thinks of quỳnh. ]
I wouldn't be here if I was always unstoppable.

[ she hums in thought but really the answer is easy. ] The steppe. The Ukok Plateau. [ she mindlessly taps against natasha's hip again. ] What about you?
oiorpata: (95)

[personal profile] oiorpata 2023-04-23 03:50 am (UTC)(link)
[ maybe it's the weariness in her muscles, her body tired from existence on top of sex, that allows the counter to slip out. ]

Stopped when it mattered most. [ it's hard to feel unstoppable when you're in irons, about to face your sixth or seventh execution in a row. the guilt of quỳnh eats her, no matter how much joe and nicky tried to tell her it wasn't her fault. it's why she stays on this ship, even with joe choosing to go, even with her own desire to flee and get away. ]

[ she lays there in bed, mind roaming like her body can't, drawing a small amount of comfort from the company beside her. ]


Would you go back to anywhere? For the fun of it this time?
oiorpata: (77)

[personal profile] oiorpata 2023-04-23 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
[ she almost smiles, because natasha does deserve to have fun. andy can feel tired of her body and existing and still think this woman beside her deserves nice things. ]

[ the touch of her cheek is unexpectedly warm. another comfort of sorts. ]


Is French in your repertoire of languages?
oiorpata: (39)

[personal profile] oiorpata 2023-04-24 01:48 am (UTC)(link)
[ in some ways it's odd that andy is lingering, given her preferred follow up to collateral sex is to leave, but she's stuck on this ship anyway. might as well enjoy the company she knows she already does. ]

[ andy replies in french, though she doesn't realize it till about halfway through. hers is good too, a level of fluency that comes from centuries of using it and decades with booker. ]

[ she does not want to think about booker. ]


It used to be more of a common language than English.
oiorpata: (19)

[personal profile] oiorpata 2023-04-25 01:53 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, I think it's known as colonization.

[ she switches between the languages as seamlessly as natasha, though again she doesn't wholly make the choice to. she's used to just reflecting on what's around her. ]

Maybe not the Algerians. [ they're done having sex, she doesn't need to be charming. ]
oiorpata: (57)

[personal profile] oiorpata 2023-04-25 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
We can practice that too, if you want.

[ then she finds herself grinning, fondly. ]

When I first met Joe, we found it easier to communicate in Greek. His Arabic and mine were too different.
oiorpata: (65)

[personal profile] oiorpata 2023-04-26 01:42 am (UTC)(link)
Don't think there's anyone left who knows any Arabic anymore, so it'd definitely fit the bill.

[ she is going to miss joe. that much is true, no matter how or when they part. ultimately andy knows she will see him again, but he was a solid comfort here. especially when it came to the situation on ciraiwei. ]

I've got a stockpile I could share for secrets.
oiorpata: (77)

[personal profile] oiorpata 2023-04-30 01:05 am (UTC)(link)
[ she grins, the kind of expression that would normally precede a laugh. ] Should I have specified outside this room?

[ the soft touch is a surprisingly welcome one, for a woman who wanted to run away from everything at the start of this evening. in some ways, she still does, but natasha's fingertips are grounding. ]

If I start speaking it exclusively, you're bound to improve. Immersion is the easiest.
oiorpata: (120)

[personal profile] oiorpata 2023-04-30 01:54 am (UTC)(link)
There's always room for improvement.

[ andy is aware of the touch but also not. it's just part of the moment, her mind definitely more scattered than usual tonight. ]

[ in her current state, she might also have preferred leaving and moving on. that had been the point of reaching out to natasha in the first place - a round of fucking then disappearing. but this comforts her too. ]


You have to be around people using it to keep using it with fluency. My best Arabic is Derja now because I always have Joe, and I don't want him to lose it. [ a beat. ] It definitely helps that I'm well-traveled.
oiorpata: (142)

[personal profile] oiorpata 2023-04-30 07:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[ she hums idly in agreement. ] There are patterns you pick up on the more you know. It does make it easier.

[ she closes her eyes again, against the feeling of natasha's hand. ] I was alive through Latin's evolution, and I could see the pieces of it in the others as they grew. It was the same for the Iranian languages, even though so many of the old ones have died out now.

Ossetian is probably the closest to Scythian that's left.
oiorpata: (97)

[personal profile] oiorpata 2023-05-01 04:16 am (UTC)(link)
I like Farsi. But Ossetian is... different. [ she says it fondly, as much as she can have a fondness for languages. ]

I still remember some Scythian. [ she wonders, briefly, if quỳnh would when this is all finished, if andy manages to get her freed. she had clung to it fiercely for andy, much as she does the same for her brothers' languages. ]

But I couldn't tell you anything about my first language. [ and the admission has her feeling every bit her age again, every line of fatigue in each ancient muscle. ] I don't even think it had a name.
oiorpata: (11)

[personal profile] oiorpata 2023-05-07 06:07 pm (UTC)(link)
[ her eyes are closed as natasha's hand stills, as she offers that sympathy, as she suddenly opens up about her own childhood losses. it makes her feel connected, which is perhaps something she hadn't realized she needed again. she feels a little less inclined to run for the hills. ]

[ unmoored women. it's definitely how andy feels right now, half the reason she sought out natasha for the sex, for that distraction from the listlessness of longevity. ]


I don't remember my mother. I had sisters too. They're just shapes now, sometimes feelings. Knowing it's there and it existed but being unable to find it... living with that knowledge is sometimes worse than what's gone.

[ to be taken as a child and made into a weapon - because andy recognizes that's what natasha is explaining here, she has experience with child soldiers - there's loss in there that doesn't quite match andy's, but it's similar enough. ]

[ unmoored, again, the both of them, looking for tethers to replace the ones lost to time. ]


I'm sorry too. I can go back to the steppe and you can go back to Russia, but it'll never be quite the same.
oiorpata: (18)

[personal profile] oiorpata 2023-05-07 11:41 pm (UTC)(link)
[ it's more echoes between them, places where their lives cross but are just different enough. andy's not sure there is anyone who can really grasp her life, because she's never met a human as old as she is. ]

[ she huffs a laugh, though it's quiet and maybe a little jaded. ]
You go forward even when it's dragging you there kicking and screaming.

[ it's hard to have a choice when you can't die. ]

There's no one left who knew me then. There could be something closer, if all this works out - [ she gestures, vaguely, at the station, at the mission and the orbs. ] - but the only thing left of that time is my name and my axe, both of which have changed as much over time as I have.

Joe and Nicky are a few thousand years too late for that. Don't get me wrong - I'm so lucky to have them and I would kill for them both a thousand times over, but they're so young. There are parts of me they just can't grasp yet. [ they're both fast approaching one thousand. it's still so very young. ]

I can't go forward without them, but sometimes I need to go backwards alone.

(no subject)

[personal profile] oiorpata - 2023-05-08 03:18 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] oiorpata - 2023-05-14 03:14 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] oiorpata - 2023-05-14 22:10 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] oiorpata - 2023-05-21 15:25 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] oiorpata - 2023-05-27 02:38 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] oiorpata - 2023-06-04 20:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] oiorpata - 2023-06-12 01:46 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] oiorpata - 2023-06-19 18:20 (UTC) - Expand